wai morfiyn shud biy liygel (translation)

I decided to write this using a phonetic alphabet designed for use with English which requires no diacritical marks but is entirely phonetic. I know, it looks like a foreign language, but it is in fact English like I said. This image is morphed from an actual bone scan that was done after I spent a day in the hospital after having been admitted for pain. Toradol didn't work, nor did IV-morphine, but intramuscular morphine killed the pain. I never had morphine before. It's way better than iboprophen.

wai morfiyn shud biy liygel

Ai dysaidyd tuw rait dhys yuwzing ei fenedyk alfebeht diyzaind for yuws widh Inglysh wyc riykwaierz now daiekrytikel marks but yz ehntaierli fenedyk. Ai now, yt luks laik uh foryn langwyj, buht yt yz yn fakt Inglysh laik ai said. Dhyz ymij yz morft fruhm an akcuwel bown skan dhat wuhz duhn after ai spent uh dei yn dhe hahspydel after having behn admydyd for pein. Toradol dydnt werk, nor dyd IV-morfiyn, buyt yntremuhskyuwler morfiyn kyld dhe pein. Ai nehver had morfiyn biyfor. Yts wei behder dhan iboprophen.